My name is Mick Bailey. I rant, I ramble and I blabber. I also write poems, songs and lyrics. I love music, comedy, tattoos, football and vaginas.

Come and investigate the utter nonsense that cascades from my mouth to my finger tips.


The F.A Barclays Premiership

Football is an English institution. It has been for more years than I have been on this planet. It always will be, despite the destructive efforts of money, controversy, sponsorships and back ground politics. Football will always be with us and it is because of passion.

This weekend saw the return of the footballing season. It wasn’t the most exciting first day but it had its fair share of entertainment and has set up a truly thrilling future to the season.

Now I’m going to try to be as neutral as I can possibly be. I am a Manchester United fan. Always have been always will be. I am fortunate to say that my club have provided me with endless reasons to celebrate and have provided many entertaining moments for the neutral football fan. But that can be said for every team that competes in the competition. Newcastle once threatened to topple us, Arsenal had their ‘invincible’ year, Chelsea walked to glory with ‘The Special One’ and Blackburn Rovers won the second ever Premiership title. So many teams have provided magic and drama and controversy over the years. Far too many for me to mention. Its the same with the goals scored or the amazing comebacks or when the underdog team provail by destroying one of the big four. There are far too many to name. What’s the point of this blog? I’m trying to make some of the people who don’t follow the football, understand what it is that leaves us gripped to the sofa. What it is that makes us take time off work. What it is that makes us neglect loved ones and family functions, just so we can watch 11 men try to put a ball in a net. Its passion.

The game has changed over the years. Gone are the hardmen and the crunching tackles on bobbley pitches. We now have flamboyance, arrogance, confidence and flair. We have pitches that are smoother than the carpet in our front room. It doesn’t matter how much the game changes, the passion lives on.

Try to look at it as a real life soap opera, unfolding before our eyes. Characters struggle to be seen, some play a bigger role than others. There are heros, there are villains, antagonists, protagonists and artists. 11 men who can summon up the ability to put our hearts in our mouths. 11 men who can make time stand still for one second as leap into the air, celebrating. These are powerful men with amazing ability that often goes unrecognised.

I am infuriated by men and women who dismiss our beautiful game as ‘just a game’. These are the same people who moan that there is never anything on the TV but still happily watch the shit that is churned out onto their screens every day. They are the people who moan about how much our players are sold for and how much they are paid. I’d like to see a fat housewife turn down £250,000 a week for working at KFC. She’d snatch that money out of your hand quicker than you can say ‘bargain bucket’. If someone is stupid enough to pay a man that much money to play our beautiful game, the gripe should be taken up with them. Football takes you out of your every day life and fills you with emotion. You can be thinking that everything is against you until you’re star striker smashes in the winning goal and everything is right with the world again.

Some people will never understand our game. I can accept that. I can’t however accept, the ignorance of people who are condescending enough to make out that football is ‘silly’. We love our game and we believe in our teams as they have provided us with joy, happiness and entertainment for years, just like the wretched characters in your soap operas.

Football is here to stay. To paraphrase the great wrestling legend ‘Ric Flair’, “Whether you love it or you hate it, you better get used to it because baby……its the best thing going!”

My name is Mick Bailey and football is my life.

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